Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The pee is free.

When I was a kid I would get dropped off at my grandmother's house for the weekends.  Most of my childhood friends I remember are from playing down by the creek behind her house.  There were these incredibly pretty dragonflies we would all try to catch that hovered over the creek landing every so often.  Every single weekend we would all try to get one of these violet and blue winged beauties but we never succeed.  Mostly because one of the fat little friends I had wasn't very "sharp" and was always talking way to loud and falling all over the place scaring them away.
 2 coats.

One of these particular weekends when I was around 6 stands out in my memory a little more predominately than the others.  It's because I peed in my grandma's bed.

My grandparents had a spare room and all, but my grandfather had recently been kicked out of the house because he failed to "quit smoking" for the millionth time, so I would lay in my grandma's bed with her and watch golden girls and usually fall asleep there.  I mean what kind of stupid ass lie is it to tell people you are getting a divorce because you're husband won't quit smoking when everyone on god's green earth knows it's because he is an alcoholic and you hate his guts. Is it REALLY that much of a stretch to just say alcoholic instead of smoker?  So freakin stupid. 
 1 coat.

So on one special evening I awoke to a warm sensation and realized I had peed in the bed.  Laying right next to my grandmother, I peed in the bed.  Her bed, the one with the rubber sheets on it that now cause me MAJOR heebie jeebies.  Sooooo, all my pee cascaded across in the mattress and pooled around my grandma who is a heavy set lady.  The rubber sheets kept it from soaking into the bed creating a half full, warm, yellow, kiddie pool around her body, right underneath the covers. 

My response to this was to get my little butt out of the bed, wash up, change, an go sleep on the couch without waking my grandmother or making a the slightest peep that might wake her.  Yep. I slept great out on the couch that night too, it was so cozy and DRY. 
1 coat.

The next morning did not go well you guys.  It was a Sunday morning and we had to go to church and afterwards all my grandma's church friends were coming over to talk about how terrible smoking is and how my grandmother is better off without a filthy smoker husband.  I remember, in a frantic panic trying to clean up pee and get dressed at the same time, my grandma threw her rubber sheets away instead of trying to wash them.  But that plan failed too because she spilled my pee all over the carpet trying to get them off the bed, then drizzled it behind her running down the hallway with them.  I was too busing eating cereal and watching cartoons to help her out though. 

The entire day at church, and I do mean DAY at church, my grandma told the story over and over. By the end of the day the pool of pee had grown so large in her version of the story I was starting to get dizzy and feel faint upon hearing it.  It was a real miracle I didn't take one of those sporks they kept in the kitchenette and off myself from the unbridled, intoxicating, embarrassment.  

When we came home I hid in the biggest cabinet I could find in the kitchen for several hours. I am not even going to get into the sight of all the church ladies on their hands and knees in my grandma's hallway scrubbing my piss out of the carpet.  I just can't go there, ya'll.  Which is why I was hiding in the freakin cabinet. 


Today I am giving away the Color Club Pardon my French collection. 
Rules are the same as always. TELL someone about the giveaway, Email, tweet, blog, post, link, whisper, scream, text, sing, screech, type, or scribble about it to SOMEONE, and leave a comment saying who you told and you're in like flint.  International readers are always welcome! Entry ends Monday the 15th and midnight.

Love, MM


  1. Wow, what a story!!! I just told my mom about your contest (and that, interestingly, it was paired with an embarrassing-childhood-moment story! Gotta love those). :)

  2. I told my daughter!

    smoochiefrog at comcast dot net

  3. Hahaha! What a nightmare story!! But very funny :)
    I tweeted about your contest here - http://twitter.com/glittermillie/status/10227351753

    Great contest!

  4. Oh wow. i can't imagine that. I would hide out in a cabinet too!

    Awesome giveaway. I texted my best friend about it :]


  5. Nice giveaway! I told my sister in law about it!!!!


  6. Awesome giveaway. I tweeted here http://twitter.com/Sparkled_Beauty/status/10228010074

  7. Hey. I'm a follower. Please enter me.

    I added a link to your page/giveaway on my blog (Nail Addicts Anonymous). The link is on the sidebar under "Giveaway Announcements." Hope you'll check us out.



  8. you are too funny. i posted on the nb!

  9. Oh I love your stories XD
    I actually told my boyfriend about your giveaway. Somehow he looked at me like I was kinda crazy or so *shrug* ;-))

    greycatgirl at web.de

  10. Wow, that was a horribly embarrassing story! I dislike how some older people think that humiliating a child is okay. Those incidences leave permanent scars - I have many of them myself!

    I texted my BFF Theresa about your blog, she and I are quickly becoming nail junkies! She turned me on to Poshe topcoat recently!

  11. Funny story!

    My email is lacquerfiles@gmail.com and I tweeted about your giveaway here: http://twitter.com/TheLacquerFiles/status/10228572012

  12. I love your stories Mama. too funny. I told my facebook peeps.

    sign me up for more hilarity any day!

  13. hahahahahahaha omg this reminds me of my tweet this morning! my son woke me up bc he took off his pullup and peed on me early this am

  14. Hahaha your story cracked me up! I told my sister about your blog (and your story, since I was snorting lol)

  15. i told my irl bffl, kayla. :)

    supperoni @ hotmail.com

  16. I told my BFF... so glad I never had any incidents like that! I do have a fear of my toddler peeing in my bed while I am sleeping, but luckily she has been potty trained for a few months and always manages to get to the potty in time!

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. I love Color Club polishes. And I love your blog. Thumbs up!
    I texted my best friend and told my sister.

  19. I almost snorted coffee out of my nose reading your story!!! I told my sister. She tends to go for the "dusty mauve" polishes and its time for a change! (Sorry if your reading this, M., but its true!!!)

  20. Told my little (not so little) sister about it, she's a nail fanatic in trainig. I once peed in my pants because of spice girls the movie. The movie totally sucked so it wasn't even worth it. When I was in daycare, there was a boy who peed in his pants in the middle of a play, he was just about to kiss the sleeping beauty when it happened. After that day he was renamed piss+his name. Even today, he goes by that name.

  21. told my sister about your giveaway! i really do adore your nails!

  22. Love this story! Brings back memories...and that's all I'm sayin' ;)

    (I may have peed IN church in my Easter best when I was little...and the pee may have trickled down the aisle)

    Okay I said something. Eh.

    Love the give away! I told my facebook friends!

  23. Blogged! I love your site. Especially your artsy banners. http://bottlehappie.blogspot.com/

  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

  25. That was an amazing story! If I wasn't reading it on campus I would have laughed hysterically.

    I told my best friend about your giveaway by text!


  26. Hilarious story :)

    I'm a follower.
    I've twittered about your contest http://twitter.com/XOXOParisky

    haha and told my boyfirend, but he isn't into nail polishes :D

  27. heh.

    i tweeted about the giveaway.

  28. Oh your story had me rolling on the ground! Hilarious!

    I'm a follower...alesia60614@yahoo.com! I'm telling my facebook friends!

  29. Haaa! That story is hilarious!

    I emailed my sister and two BFFs about your contest!

  30. Ahh, fond childhood memories... I bet at the time, you would never have guessed that you would be the one telling that story now! Hee!
    I put your giveaway on my Contests/Giveaways page at http://fluffypuppynow.blogspot.com/.
    Thanks! walkerjs7920(at)gmail(dot)com

  31. i love yours stories, haha

    i told my mom who said "you want to win polish? MORE polish?"

    i also told my Canadian friend who checks out your website now!

    my email is heyheylove 87 @gmail.com

  32. Twitter!


    Great give away! =)

  33. Loved the story, sounds absolutely dreadful, but since time has passed, a wee bit funny, too!

    I posted your giveaway link in my blog http://maquillagetalk.blogspot.com/

    I tweeted about it too! http://twitter.com/MaquillageTalk


  34. Yo guuuuurl. I put this giveaway on the righthand sidebar of my blog. Thanks for being awesome, as always.



  35. I told my husband. He wants to know if I really need more np

    lauraebier at gmail dot com

  36. Hi there! I tweeted about the giveaway (http://twitter.com/michal_kessel) which is great by the way. I would say though I really hate those plastic sheets, they always make that squishy sound...
    So anyway, great giveaway...

  37. I told my boyfriend about the contest. He said I shouldn't enter because even though it wasn't spending money, he doesn't want to help me put together a helmer. Too bad! haha

  38. Your post today reminded me of my many weekend visits spent at Nonna's house as a child. So I gave her a call and we chatted about anything and everything, as we often do, including your new contest! Thanks for giving me an excuse (like I needed one!) to call my Nonna.


  39. LOL! I told my classmates :)

    jeepgirlrach (at) yahoo (dot) ca

    (we have the same SUV :)

    and the commenter just above me here has my same name and last name initial...whoa...freaky!!

  40. LMAO, thank you so much for sharing that story, it almost made ME pee my pants! :D The best part is that you actually woke up and washed up without waking up your poor grandma, LOL!

    Anyway, I would really like to enter your contest/giveaway. :) I tweeted about it over at: http://twitter.com/catcult

    My e-mail andiegirl at gmail dot com

  41. I risked ridicule and told all my facebook friends about it. They make fun of me whenever I talk about nail polish. But I tried!


  42. Hey, I totally adore your blog! and I'm from Holland.
    I posted a topic on the website www.girlscene.nl, it's a site wher 80.000 Dutch girls go every single day, to read about the new cool things in a girls life, lik fashion, lifestyle things and nailpolish!
    x Renee
    you-nailed-it.blogspot.com (just started)

  43. heyyyyy :) I've been reading your blog for the past few weeks and I absolutely love it! Your humor can always coax a smile out, even on the worse days :)
    I told my friend, Susan, she loves nail polish almost as much as I do ;)

  44. I told my best friend. :)


  45. So embarassing for a child!! Hilarious now...
    I told my best friend Irene :-)

  46. I told my mother :]

    from what i acn tell, your grandmother was cool about the whole thing? mine would've had a FIT

  47. I love your nails this length!

    I told my mom :)

  48. Amazing giveaway! I just yelled it on the street and some people gave me weird looks, hehe.

  49. Pffft. I vow to tell NOBODY about the giveaway other than to warn them to stay away like the plague. What's to say you don't still pee the bed? I don't want pee-pee polish.

  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

  51. sweet give away

    I told my big sis :)


  52. hahahah! u absolutely made my day. I laughed until I choked on the milo I was drinking for breakfast. XD yikes!
    Anyway, I told my best friend abt your story/blog. :) Thanks for the story!

    P.S. i almost left out my email: sea_poseidon@hotmail.com

  53. I tweeted it! Thanks for doing the give-away and wish me luck!

  54. Telling my BFF as I type this!

  55. I put it on my AIM message!


  56. I told my coworker, who thinks I'm a bit mad in re: nail polish. :-D

  57. I LOVED this story! I told my good friend Brittany about your blog :]

  58. Thanks for the op to win these,

    I tweeted this to my followers, (and now i follow you too.)

    find me at twitter at : twitter.com/fieryivy

    my email address is fieryivy1 @ gmail .com

  59. hello hello hello

    my name is Li Lian and I would love to be part of your contest.

    my email is: li_lian_c@hotmail.com

    I blogged about your post here to http://shortwidenails.blogspot.com/2010/03/httpthemanicuredmanateeblogspotcom-is.html so hopefully someone hears about it...but just incase I told my sister about it. she has a blog but isn't a nail polish person. Maybe she will still enter. =)

  60. I told my friend MR about your contest (email) she likes pretty things, and nail polish is pretty!!

    Aren't pull ups a wonderful invention?

  61. I tweeted your contest!
    My twitter is DeltaCephei :) Great contest!

    ssssuzanne [a] gmail.com

  62. That story is hilarious!

    I'd like to enter and I posted about your giveaway in my sidebar here: http://thedutchnailblog.blogspot.com

    dutchnailblog at gmail dot com

  63. Plz enter me! I Twitted: http://twitter.com/Quinnrz/status/10265223174

    Thanks a lot!

  64. I told my BF about the giveaway! Super Cool!


  65. Great blog! Even greater giveaway :) I just told my coworkers! lindy724@yahoo.com

  66. Lol. Poor you :)
    I told my mom about the giveaway.
    I decided just telling someone was boring and I'll scream my lil' sister awake tomorrow by telling her about the giveaway ;)
    canusletum (at) gmail (dot) com

  67. I told my Mom who ended up telling her nail polish obsessed coworker about your blog :)

    actuallylola @ aim.com

  68. Your stories are some of the most entertaining and I love reading them. Also, manatees are my favorite animal. You are awesome just by that alone! Thanks for doing this giveaway. I told my neighbor :) and my dog... who probably doesn't care :-s

    tape (dot) queen (at) gmail (dot) com :)

  69. I love your stories so much! Polish and funny life stories go together so well.


  70. Good grief, how embarrassing. My embarrassing childhood stories are mostly about me being a klutzy kid and ending up with stitches.

    I will tell my mom about your giveaway. I just got off the phone with her, so I won't call her back tonight, but we're going out tomorrow and I always tell her about the giveaways I enter... partly because I'm hoping to win (especially the cool ones like yours... I would love those glitters) and partly because I use her address for shipping. :-)


  71. LMFAO!
    Ahh childhood and pee. My mom likes to talk about how I peed on the curtains when she was trying to change my diaper. >.< Ahhh memories.

    I told the people who read my blog! (all 21 of them!:P) http://skuldasclaws.blogspot.com/2010/03/manatee-giveaway.html
    Love ya, Manatee Momma!

    (deleted my first entry and reposted to fix a typo in my email. Sometimes I'm so... er... nm)

  72. Wow what a story that must've been utterly embarrassing and i told my friend nesha and my mom

  73. Oh... Wow. I don't think any of my bedwetter stories could top this. Well, sure sounds like a buttload of fun.

    Just told my roommate about your giveaway. Not sure whether she heard me or not though since she just gave one of those standard "I'm not really listening to you but I have to make a sound to stop you from keeping me away from my fascinating computer" grunts.

    My email's chichi.cherry33 at gmail dot com.

  74. I tweeted on my twitter here...http://twitter.com/f0xyc0ntin

    email: sarah_woodruff85@hotmail.com

  75. I'd like to enter! I mentioned it on my blog: http://beautyvibes.blogspot.com/p/giveaways.html

    Email: SweetFantasyStar[at]hotmail[dot]com

  76. I told my aunt about the contest. I love your hilarious stories ! You keep me laughing!

  77. I told my boyfriend and three friends. :)


  78. I told all my nail polish frinds that I have, hope they join too.

    allyoudesire.blog @ centrum.cz

  79. I emailed all y friends, like always.

  80. Told my best friend about it. Love the story, by the way!

    orangesnowbubble [at] gmail [dot] com

  81. What a hilarious story! I absolutely love your sense of humor.

    I told my best friend as well as my parakeet, if that even counts.

  82. I told my boyfriend about the giveaway and he said your nails are perfect. He especially likes the Orly Dazzle.
    Accidental pee is so traumatizing. I peed in my sleep when I was about 10 and for the next 15 YEARS had an obsessive need for the bathroom to be my absolute last stop before sleep. I finally got over it when I had my son and had to worry more about his pee than mine.

  83. Great giveaway! I told my best friend about it :)


  84. when I read your story I suddenly remembered my dream last night, where I was at a strange appartement and really had to go pee, but couldn't get into the bathroom, because it was full of boys partying *shrugs shoulders* when I woke up, of course I had to go the bathroom in real, but I'm always glad that I didn't accidentally pee in my bed when having dreams like that.

    I told my mom and my best friend about your give-away (though my mom looked at it and shrugged, since she is only into red polishes ^^)
    my email is caitlyn77@gmx dot de

  85. Ha, wow, great story. And great giveaway! I told my best friend about it. :]


  86. ah ah I told my sister and she answered I was crazy, funny story

  87. I told my husband and his friend, Jeff, about it. Jeff has been wondering why I have been wearing such "interesting" nail colors in the last year or so. Both hubby and friend like my habit and hubby says it sure beats other habits price-wise.
    As for your story, I would be horrified and embarassed for years and years. You are so strong to write about it!

  88. What a great blog!
    I told my BFFs about your blog&giveaway ...


  89. I just told my Mom about it. And told the story while I was at it! If it helps, I have managed to pee in several locations: I peed my pants in Disney World, right outside of an elevator because my mother wouldn't pull off of the road when I begged her too; I peed my pants in France and had to walk around Paris with no underwear on; I peed my pants in Wales, and I peed my pants in Manchester, England. I was very young just like you were though! It happens to the best of us!

  90. Uuu what a funny story! :D
    You have a great blog!
    I told my sister about your blog and giveaway I posted it on my blog: www.tianasplace.blogspot.com
    My e-mail: zivic.tatjana@gmail.com
    Have fun!

  91. I told my cousins!

    email: penta_gl@yahoo.com

  92. Hello!
    This polishes are so beautiful! =D
    Enter me please *.*

    * I'm following
    * I'm spreading the word in my blog's sidebar: http://lets-talk-about-beauty.blogspot.com/
    * I tweeted: http://twitter.com/ARitaD/status/10430329701

    Thank you for this opportunity! =D

  93. Hi.
    First of all, I am a long time follower. I really, really love your way of narrating. this is why I expressed my support on one of MUAs big scenes. Please, do not try to polish your way of expressing yourself. You are unique and refreshing.
    Second. I cannot understand your grandma in this case. One of the most cruicial memories of my childhood was when I had one of my first periods and I had pants that were too tight (and this never changed) and I was outside with my sympathy and blood was everywhere and I came crying home to my aunt, and she was so graceful about it. I love her (also) for that. If she reacted in other way...I would really be scarred for life.

    And thirdly, I told my best friend.
    And some other friends.
    Since Ive broken my leg and had the operation (I now have nine inch nails, hehe) I am in bed and checking your blog constantly :D and talking with my best friend about np. and her wedding in May. Yes, I will be best man (is there a woman version?) with crutches. Hopefully.


    tevta.je at gmail.com

  94. follower peripatetic33
    peripatetic33 at hot mail dot com
    i emailed my friends

  95. nice giveaway
    I tweeted http://themanicuredmanatee.blogspot.com/2010/03/pee-is-free.html

    ilovevanessasomuch at gmail.com
    thanks :)

  96. i told my friends from school (and i'm a new follower!) awesome giveaway, thanks!


  97. I told my Mom about this giveaway & your story. She said oh my! poor lil kid. Thanks for the giveaway.

  98. What a great colours to have
    love to win





  99. Hey, those are awesome colors! I told both of my cousins about your give away :)

    thank you! <3

  100. Hii! ENTER ME pls~~
    My Email: Risya271@yahoo.com

    1. I'm your follower :)
    2. I've link your giveaway to my blog sidebar (http://risyahoneydew.blogspot.com/)
    3. I've post about your blog giveaway in my blog too (http://risyahoneydew.blogspot.com/2010/03/moree-open-giveaway.html)

    Hope I'll win~
    Crossing my fingers now^^

  101. Thank you for this great giveaway!

    I'm a follower

    I posted the giveaway to my blog sidebar and I've also done a post about your giveaway


    thank you

    Anita (KONADomania)

    konadomania at gmail dot com

  102. Wow, great prize!
    I am a follower and I posted your giveaway to my sidebar(under the blog archive) http://lucysstash.blogspot.com/


    Lucisek-Lucy's Stash

  103. Great giveaway.

    I am a follower and I bloged about your giveaway on my blog at http://tani-p.blogspot.com/2010/03/giveaways.html.

    I told my sister and she told me "Oh yea, you never win anything" :(.

    Well trying it's not going to kill me.

    Thanks for this.

    Email: tania.freitas[at]ymail.com

  104. Hi, very great giveaway !!

    I am a follower and I speak about it to my mother and my colleagues ^^
    Bye ans thanks for counting me

  105. Great post and giveaway! I'm follower and I tweeted about it:

  106. http://thestudentsguidetonailpolish.blogspot.com/2010/03/moaaar-giveaways.html

    Hi! I blogged about your giveaway above and I follow you on Google!


  107. HI,
    I just told my friend about your giveaway
    i blogged and you are on my blogroll here : http://nails-art-winaya.over-blog.com/

    and im a follower of course (soniabastien)

    My email : soniabastien23@hotmail.com

  108. thanks, I told my best friend about this!
    blogged : http://sugarrosies.blogspot.com/2010/03/weekly-giveaway-links-new.html

    I followed you too!

  109. For one, I would be so mad at my grandmother lol. Poor you.

    Those nail polish colors are absolutely gorgeous. I would love to enter. I tweeted about it!


  110. haha, great story.

    i posted about the giveaway on my tumblr, since twitter is being weird.
    and i also showed / told my brother haha.


  111. Amazing story :P
    I showed like 12 of my friends.


  112. told it to my friends as ultimately they would only apply for me if i win :D

    p.s. im a rightie so i cannot apply nail polish on my right hand at all so alwayz tell my friends to do for me !!


  113. This comment has been removed by the author.

  114. Hi
    This is an awesome blog and giveaway!
    I added you to my blog roll and did a post
    Thanks so much! I hope I win ;)
    justanotherpolishblog at gmail dot com

  115. I am going to post a link to this page on LHCF, whiich has a nail fanatics thread, under the makeup & skincare section. That way everyone can share. That is also how I found this blog to begin with, and joined immediately. It was the halo, rainbow nails. 2 DIE 4!!!!


  116. hi. my friends and i are gawking at your blog. i remember those "all day" Church days as a kid. somehow i miss them today

    beautiful nails!


  117. I found this blog from cutenss ^^^^ and linked this contest on my blog and also followed you :)



    ♥ SailorWifey

  118. I used to be a pee'er as a kid too and totally empathize with you. I tweeted your story and told my friend :)

    Also decided to post the link on my blog :)

  119. Wow tha's a funny story!Great giveawawy, Enter me please!
    I tweeted about your giveaway:http://twitter.com/dreamari/status/10474003413
    Andrea Ferreira

  120. Hi!

    I have a link to this giveaway on my blog.

    Thank you!

  121. Told my fellow nail polish lovin friends.


  122. I´m blogging here:



  123. What a story! I have told my readers to check it out as well

    my email is wwyywhy@gmail.com

  124. Hello
    I'm a follower and told my asociation about it and I posted about it on my blog too.

    My email address is

    I posted about your giveaway here

  125. I told my bestie about it. We are polish crazy people.

    Don't be surprised if she comments here too!

    reviewsbyabby at gmail dot com

  126. I told my sisters. I hope they have time to enter, too!


  127. hi mm, great story and nice giveaway...
    i blogged about your giveaway here:


  128. I screamed this at a friend of mine. My shopping buddy.


    shiki6210 at gmail dot com

  129. I told my sister about your fabulous give away. :)

    Enter me please!


  130. Funny story X)

    I told my husband xD



  131. Hello!

    I posted about your giveaway so that many people can find out about it :)

  132. I told my bff who also loves nail polish.
    glamorous dot j at gmail

  133. LOL!

    I'm a new follower!

    I've linked your giveaway here on my blog:


    I've also texted my two sisters, whom are really getting into nailpolish right now, about this great giveaway.


    <33 Rena

  134. Hi, I just recently discovered your blog and I love it, and the giveaway is amazing! I'm just writing a post (mentioning you) on my blog which you can find at http://perfumeorpoison.blog.hr (on the right sidebar is info on leaving comments since the page is in Croatian) .. and my e-mail address is perfumeorpoison@gmail.com.
    Btw I hope I'm not too late - it's 22:15 here in Croatia,Europe?

  135. Awsome giveaway! already a follower and you are in my blolgroll. I blogged about your giveaway here: http://darivia.blogspot.com/2010/03/giveaways.html


  136. I told my roommate and best friends about this giveaway, it looks like fun! I love reading your blog. :)

  137. I just started following you today since stupid Google wouldn't let me do it last week when my friend told me about it. You tell the best stories. <3 I also mentioned it below:


  138. http://twitter.com/crotchfairy/status/10551239187

    I can tweet, yo :D

    asherium at gmail dot com

  139. Hi,

    I put it in the contest section of my blog:


  140. My super nosy brother asked me what I was doing so I whispered it to him (it's like almost 12 am here and my dad's asleep) =)


  141. I'm following you (Scarlet_Letter)
    mail: galissenaomi@hotmail.com