New Misas! Mardi Gras!

I only got three of the new Mardi Gras collection and I kinda wish I had gotten more.  The formula was the classic, awesome Misa formula but the colors I got were a little weird. Well not weird, but definitely different than I had hoped.

For example, to me, this isn't purple people!  Maybe they want us to throw them something purple because this polish is clearly BLUE?

This one is nice but I wish it was a tad less blue and pastel looking. 

This was my favorite one out of the 3 I got. Sooooo pretty!

Love, MM

New Misas! Black Out "Collection"

Thanks Misa! We really, REALLY needed some new polish from you! DESPERATELY needed! This Black out collection is pretty good but I don't see how it's a collection being only 2 polishes since nobody is going to buy their black creme AGAIN. But hey, the 2 colors are Blue and Purple CREMES!!! Now THAT is my kind of half assed "collection"!  

This is 2 coats. It is gorgeous. I love it, what a shocker! This applied awesome but dried to a satin type of finish, nothing a top coat can't fix.

This one was a bit more watery but still a two coater and not too difficult to apply. Love this one too!!! 

I didn't buy the black one, ok. Sorry Charlie. But if you are DYING to see another plain black creme, here ya go!

 

WNW black creme. 1 coat, dries fast and .99 cents at walgreens.

Love, MM

From across the pond...

Did you guys know I have a nail twin?  Well I do, our nails were separated at birth and given to separate families that moved across the globe, living lonely and very different lives only to be reunited at MUA 25 years later.  She lives all the way in Tasmania which I think is so incredibly cool.  I even felt cool writing out "Tasmania" on the packages I have sent her, because sending a piece of mail with "Tasmania" written on it is as close as this local girl can get to feeling like a world traveler.

We are those type of nail twins that are totally opposite.  Like she is really nice and thoughtful and probably organized and has a GPS, and I am a lame butt hole that says "retard" and offends people with her normal behavior on a regular basis, a total slob, and I never know what direction I am going while driving.  Anyhoo, she sent me some goodies from across the pond that I am in love with.

This gorgeous little number was almost a one coater and nearly applied itself.  I love the color so much, it's not really "blackened" where the edges look black and the center looks glowy. The edges look more of a really dark purple and the whole nail looks glowy.

You see this?  This is THE perfect purple. That is it, this polish sealed the deal and I never have to think about it again. THIS is my favorite purple, ever. It makes my skin even out and look a creamy pale shade instead of all pink and gross, it doesn't look black and it's dry on the first nail you painted by the time you paint the last nail. I LOVE YOU NAIL TWIN!

These two Sugar Baby polishes are really different colors than I would ever choose for myself but somehow you nailed it, you wonderful twin of mine!  I  love them BOTH.  I love the colors, the bottles, I even love the subtle shimmer in Dream Team even though I freakin hate subtle shimmer!  These were both two coaters.  I really like this brand, the bottles are things dreams are made of people. 

Thanks a million Twinny!

Love, MM

New York Summer Pt 5

Click here for Part 4.

This was 3 coats, smooth application. No problems.

Also 3 coats. This is BLINDING.

This one is still sheer at 3 coats which is a shame because it is an awesome neon red.

This one was a goopy MESS! Omg it was a pain to apply. This was 4 coats.

Once again 3 coats. This one applied great despite the streaks and dried lightning fast.

Love, MM

Leftovers

I have ended up with some mismatched swatches that don't really go with anything else or can't really be made into a single posts. Either because I forgot to post them or forgot the reason I swatched them. Well they could but I don't feel like doing it. So, I'm just going to cram them all right here and call it a day.  Plus, now I have shorties and I need to get these long nailed photos cleared out because I can't just go around posting all sorts of nail lengths jammed together like it's no big deal, and be all "la te da" about it. Because as we all know I am an organized person and I hold all my nail related matters to the utmost of ridiculously OCD standards. 

This was 2 coats and also my 100th China glaze! Application on this was good, not streaky or gloppy.

Also 2 coats and good application. I wish this was more GREEN and not so pastel, cutesy, and stupid.

Guess how many coats this was dudes? FIVE. I got this in a swap so I really am hoping it was thinned before I received it because that is LAUGHABLE. Pretty polish though.

This is so freakin awesome. I love this polish, but all I can do when I look at this photo is sit here and grimace, cussing out my nails because they are not growing out fast enough.  I miss my long nails SO MUCH.  Oh yeah this was 3 coats, no problems.

Love, MM

Really.

 Very bright pink creme with purple undertones. This was 2 coats and like most Orly cremes it applied smooth as buttah. 

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!! I LOVE THIS!  I thought for sure I would hate it in the bottle, but I had only a few green Orlys so I got it anyway. It is so pretty and unique! Smooth, awesome application, 2 coats, radical color what more could I want? 

What more could I want besides red dots in Nfu-oh 551 of course! DUH!

This is a jelly! YES! I had no idea until I applied it. I was a 3 coater with minimal cuticle drag and I really like the color. 

Deep orange based red creme. This could pass for straight dark orange under some lighting. I don't love it, it's just ok for me. 2 coats.

Love, MM

Oooh la la

I swear it's like every single time I apply an Nfu-oh polish it becomes my new "favorite" of the color group it's in.  I just found my new favorite red last night.

 This polish shocked, attacked, then physically abused me.  It slapped me in the face, HARD, then it grabbed me by the eye balls and glued itself to them refusing to loosen it's grip. Not that I really minded, I wasn't driving or anything.  GAH!  This is the hottest red EVER!   Seriously it's like sex in a bottle.  It's not like the sex you are actually having in a bottle.  It's like the sex you WISH you were having, in a bottle.  This was a fabulous, smooth, fast drying, 2 coat application. But, I really could not care less if this polish took 5 coats, it is that gorgeous.

GORGEOUS.

Gorgeous.

In the bottle this polish looked kinda blah. Wow is it gorgeous on the nail.

531 is a super smooth one coat creme that dries really fast.  This polish is like a mint green crossed with an army green.  It's so unique, and a great alternative to people who don't love mint green.  (me)  I love this though.  This is the only light green in my collection I can picture myself wearing longer than just to photograph it.

Death to the fiance!

,Look, the last type of blogger I ever want to be perceived to be is some fliberty gibbit typing away at her laptop, eyes glazed over, looking off into space, and nothing but nonsense about her her fiance, her boyfriend, or her husband, ever shows up on the screen.  *YAWN*   "My fiance is so sweet, or I hate my fiance or, guess what I am taking all my ex husbands money", RETARDED. 

Not that I sit around all day with my legs crossed, chin in palm, deeply thinking about what kind of freakin blogger I want to be, as if its some type of important thing to be thinking about at ALL.  I mean come ON.  It's just that I started typing this and I was like "OMG! I hope I am not THAT girl!  Must I clarify?  Yes, I must!" 

 holy mother of god.  2 coats.

So, back to death to the fiance thing.  MY fiance takes his showers first in the mornings, usually shortly after he lovingly makes the coffee.  He even makes me my very own glass of coffee and puts it in the freezer for me because he knows how I like it cold.  Awww.  But put that part OUT OF YOUR MIND because we are MAD at him, ok?  After his shower you want to know what he does?  Do ya?  HE TURNS THE HOT WATER HEATER OFF!

Now ladies this is going to sound strange but it took me about 3 weeks of dripping wet trips, sprinting naked to the breaker box, in the MIDDLE of a shower to figure out this freakin pattern.  Now that I have it figured out I STILL have to run to the breaker box naked, all crouched over using my hands as Eve's leaves would be used, in some sort of crab like, two legged race at the county fair, type of run.  Really, the ONLY part that is different is that only ONE LEG is soaking wet because I still get naked and halfway in the shower before I remember.

This is 3 thin coats.  Need I say more?  I think not.

Now why is it that I RUN to the breaker box covering my private parts?  It's because for some reason, every time, I am always totally POSITIVE someone has broken in and will be walking down the hall the precise second that I run by naked.  Now, logically if someone has broken in my home, which I am always certain they have,  the top thing on my list of worries probably should not be them seeing my boobies.  It should probably be something more along the lines of being murdered.  But still, the covering of the boobies and The Hunchback of Notre-Dame run are instincts I just cannot overcome while running naked through my house.

2 coats

It only took ONE dripping wet trip to the breaker box in the middle of a shower for my fiance to stop turning off the freakin hot water heater folks.  ONE.  After all the times I had scowled, and screamed and screeched, "STOP TURNING OFF THE HOT WATER HEATER" at him in the voice of a 70 year old woman that been smoking for 50 of them. It only took ONE time for HIM to experience it to make him stop. Not to mention he still thinks HE was the one that "accidentally" turned it off the night before his shower.

Quickie- Reader Requests.

Did you guys know I will totally swatch stuff for you if I've got it?  Well, I will, and I won't even grumble about it within earshot of you.  I can also help you out with dupes, colors etc. Just email me.  Here are a few quick request swatches.

This is 3 generous coats.  DO. NOT. WANT.

3 coats. Blackened green shimmer.   I wish this wasn't so blue toned. I HATED it in the bottle but on my nails I like it better.

2 coats. This polish is GORGEOUS. It is a dupe for Orly Wild wisteria AND OPI Sapphire in the snow. I like the Orly the best. 

This is 2 coats.  This polish is killer.  It's a purplish pink to greenish grey duochrome and I love it! 

I am still terribly ill.  Truthfully as I'll as I've ever been.  SO DON'T GET ALL HUFFY ABOUT MY DINKY LITTLE POSTS.  I will be back to bombarding you with walls of text as soon as I can breathe without hacking up organs.

LOVE, MM

GOD I hate Mario Lopez!

I don't hate a lot of things but Mario Lopez is at the TIPPY TOP of my very short list.  WHY does he host like 50 shows? WHY? I half expect him to show up in my bathroom and start hosting my bubble bath with his retarded VOICE and his stupid childlike FACE.  If I am flipping channels and land on a show including Mario Lopez wielding a microphone I will nearly BREAK MY ARM trying to change the channel fast enough that I won't have to hear him speak.

This is 2 coats artificial lighting, love it!

I mean, Mario Lopez is the mexican version of Bob Saget.  NOT the "I'm a coke addict, pimp, recording artist" version of Bob Saget. I'm talking the Full house, Americas Funniest Home Videos featuring the worst host in the history of tellevision, Bob Saget. 

Mario Lopez's face is like a 150 foot long,  neon flag waving FRANTICALLY with the words "CHANGE THE CHANEL" printed on it. Hell, the flag even has an option to push a button and it will smash you over the head with a crow bar and knock you the fuck OUT,  in the instance you have lost your remote.

3 coats.

Seriously, Mario Lopez needs to just go on tour or something.  Then he can go around being not funny in EMPTY comedy clubs and I can watch T.V. in peace.  He will get stabbed at his VERY first gig anyway, either by me or someone similar, so it's a GREAT PLAN.  

2 coats.

Mario Lopez brings out an animalistic violence in me I had never realized existed.  I really hope I never run into him at Goodwill while I'm scouting nail polish and he is stealing anecdotes off those little precious moments figurines to use in his act, because I will KILL him. Bare handed, grisly style, straight up, 1st degree.  MURDER.

Yeah...I am currently deathly I'll and blocked into the corner of my bed by a mountian of used tissues, I'm miserable and trapped here until somebody brings me some dayquil and a freakin sprite.  So yeah, I'm pissy and that is why you got to read about how hard Mario Lopez sucks ass today.

Ohhh Creamy.

I love you Rescue Beauty Lounge.

Let's get married.  I won't be available until Nfu-oh inevitably cheats on me and I take 6 months to recover and work on "me".  But after that, let's do it.

Maybe it's Maybelline.

I love Maybellines, especially the old express finishes with the grey caps.  There is something so nostalgic about them, and I really love the bottle shape. With that said, I don't know if it's a coincidence or if I'm a nut job but the gold cap express finishes seem to always be streaky and it pisses me off to have to thin a brand new bottle of polish. 

Every time I apply a gold cap express finish and it streaks horribly across my freshly prepped, clean and shiny, lovingly base coated, unsuspecting nail, I think really LOUDLY in my head, "MAYBE IT'S NOT FUCKING MAYBELLINE!".  Yeah, I can think to myself in different volumes, and yeah that is the first official full force F-bomb on mah blog.  I think it went over quite well.  Seriously when a polish ruins 20 minutes of filing and moisturizing, base coating and prepping, I strongly consider walking into my kitchen grabbing the hammer out of my pot holder drawer and taking it to every shiny surface in sight.  But I don't because that would mess up the rest of my manicure.

In all honesty, some of the grey cappers streak too.  I just need to point a finger at something and those ugly ass gold caps are just gonna have to take the blame.  Somebody has to take the fall and it's you, you hideous gold caps.  Maybe if you weren't so GOLD and gaudy you could have flown under the radar, but Noooo you just had to be loud and stupid and GOLD.  Is this EGYPT Maybelline?  Are we in King Tut's tomb?  Last time I checked, The answer was NO!  So, stop gold plating random things that AREN'T JEWELRY. 

Maybe I'm wrong and Maybelline is 100% on point.  But my toothbrush and shoe laces aren't gold plated so I'm pretty freakin sure this isn't Egypt circa 1333 BC.

So, in this ONE isolated instance do not listen to me. The grey cap Maybelline express finishes are capable of streaking just as bad as the gold ones. 

 This one applied awesome.  2 thin coats to achieve bottle color.  Purdy.  This is like the ONLY heavily orange based red I can wear and have my hands remain normal looking.

I kinda liked this color but was it worth 4 coats to cover the streaks?  NO!  Was it even worth typing the ridiculously long and STUPID name so I could post it?  Kinda, because I wanted to tell you guys how hard it was for me to type "blet" when all I wanted in the world at that moment was to type "BLEH!"

I think this swatch reveals what a pain this was to apply.  It was wierd.  Streaky and runny at the same time.  But only 3 coats.  I bought this polish because in the store it looked like a creme that would perfectly match my skin tone.  I got it home to find it was a pinkish, yellowish, nude SHIMMER.

This took 5 coats to be opaque, but it's not meant to be opaque so its ok.  But good LORD it is SO streaky.  It's like trying to apply polish with a brush a 4th grader made out of pine straw at summer camp.

I have a love hate relationship with this one.  LOVE- because it looks VERY close to Ruby Pumps. HATE- because it looks VERY close to Ruby Pumps.  This is the closest ruby pumps dupe I have found but who cares. Maybelline can't touch it because Ruby Pumps is RUBY EFFING PUMPS, it is THE red glitter. Nuff said.

Thanks Tina!

Welp, the floodgates are open all thanks to Tinab123.  Why did you have to coerce me into trying Nubar Tina?  I violently refused your offer to swap me some Nubar, Tina, and you FORCED me to try it.  SHE FORCED ME, people.  You know I am a compulsive polish hoarder and I would become obsessed .  Until now I have successfully avoided trying Nubar so I could focus on collecting 10 or so other brands before I opened yet another floodgate.  Well that plan FAILED.  We will just throw that plan in the trash to keep all my other failed plans company. 

This is 2 coats of the glorious, habit forming Nubar Forest.  If there was a polish to addict you to a certain brand, this would be IT.  How perfect.  I absolutely adore this Tina.  Thank you so much for corrupting my fragile little comfort zone.  I love it!

I mean, so what if the transaction actually went more like this-

TINAB123: Hey, you wanna try some Nubar Manatee Mama?

MANATEEMAMA: Damn right, Tina!

That is totally irrelevant and how dare you bring that up at a time like this?  

It's Official.

Nfu-oh is officially my new favorite brand of polish.  I am sorry China Glaze.  I will always love you and I hope we can still be friends, just not best friends, and seriously the texts at 2AM have got to stop.  I cannot carry on a healthy relationship with Nfu-oh if you keep filling up my email box, and texting me at all hours of the night.  

I know you have always been there for me China Glaze.  You were so loyal and reliable and were always available when I needed you. We have always had great variety in our relationship but the spark just isn't there anymore.  Nfu-oh is so fresh and young and mysterious.  Let's face it, she has a great bottle.  I know it's painful to hear but I have needs you just can't satisfy anymore.  

This is 2 coats in indirect sunlight.  

Direct sunlight.  This is so gorgeous.  SO GORGEOUS. 

I did a quick comparison between this and Rescue Beauty Lounge Teal in case anyone was interested.

This is 2 coats of each polish.  They certainly aren't dupes.  Thank goodness.  But they are pretty close.

What's for dessert?

I'm having a big fat helping of Rescue Beauty Lounge. 

By the way, It's delicious.

I got it from my Grandma.

I woke up in a super weird mood today so in preparation for this post please locate the nearest salt shaker and separate a single grain to keep handy.   First of all I have misplaced my hairbrush.  It’s a disaster of epic proportions people.   I might as well go buy a wrist sweat band in the colors of the Jamaican flag and a Djembe drum right now because I’m going to be dreaded out like a Rastafarian by noon.   I tried to use my fiancés retarded hairbrush, but it’s totally useless.   It’s one of those stupid bristle brush things that look like a bathtub scrubber.   HOW do people use those?  God, they SUCK.

This is 2 coats.  Once again try to imagine this a bit less blue.  This is a gorgeous purple creme but it is a dupe for Orly Plum Noir.

 This isn't really my thing but it IS one of the non-pink Zoyas I have acquired so I'm posting it. 2 coats.

Just to give you an idea of the mood I'm in today, for the last hour or so I have been running scenarios through my head about how I could go driving around scouting for non-injury related car accidents, then childishly tormenting the drivers in all sorts of ways. Like parking a little ways away and leisurely walking up to the driver with the most mangled car and asking them how they are doing.  “Hey, what’s up man? How’s it going?”  In this scenario the driver replies “Pretty terrible, how are you?”, so I say, “OH YEAH?  You think YOU’RE doing terrible? Well, I’ve misplaced my hairbrush!”   

Some of the other scenarios include me just casually striking up a conversation with the drivers while they are busy fighting and exchanging insurance information, "Hey man, you tried out that new rib place over on King St.?", "So who'd you vote for anyway, pal?"  Another scenario is me driving by the 2 crushed cars and tossing notes out the window to the unfortunate drivers that say random food commercial tidbits like, “With a name like Smuckers it has to be good!” or “The secret is in the sauce”.  I hope this helps! 

My favorite scenario is one where I speed up to the wrecked cars and E-brake slide into a parking spot, then yell out the window “RACE YA TO THE HOSPITAL!”  Then I cackle wildly before I speed away.   One part of each scenario is always the same though.   Right after I spot the accident I do a stealth drive by to make sure nobody is bloody before I proceed with any further action, so don’t worry.

This is such a gorgeous darkened red shimmer.  2 coats.

Something else I’ve been mulling over today is why people say “I got it from my grandma” when you pay them a compliment.  For example- I say, “Hey Janice, what beautiful hair you have.”  Then Janice smiles and says “Thanks, I got it from my grandma”.   I just want to be like, “Wow! Really Janice?  Well you see this WHOLE BODY I have?  I technically got this from my Grandma!  Now tell me what conditioner you use and stop stating the obvious!”   I mean, it’s not like I am complimenting you on your antique coffee table.   But in the instance that I were, it would be perfectly acceptable to say “I got it from my Grandma”.  To which I would reply, “Wow your Grandma is wicked awesome! You could get some hella coin for that baby at the pawn shop!”