Totally Cool

I filed my nails down today.  Just a little bit, but it was just enough to launch me into a state of deep depression.  I am such a complete looser.  I should have taken the hint from Crash the Cat who kept batting the file out of my hand and viciously attacking it.  Crash the Cat is all business when it comes to killing nail files.  At one point during said filing he was sitting next to me ravenously chewing the end of my file with a crazed look in his eye, WHILE I was using it.  So his head was being violently JERKED back and forth at lightning speed in rhythm with my file strokes.  Can you picture it?  It was ridiculous. 

Just a quick tidbit about me; I exaggerate.  I am not really in a state of deep depression.  I'm just a little bit bummed out, but the stuff about Crash is all true, I swear. 

This is 2 coats over black.  I love these Milanis from the Black Magic Collection.  They are all different colored micro-glitters in a black base.  This one is purple glitter and it's awesome.

I'm really not sure what the deal is but somehow I am being stalked by feces.  Yesterday I had a lovely encounter first thing in the morning but in the afternoon something really special happened.  I went fishing with my dear fiance at our local park/boat ramp and I really needed to use the ladies room.  So I had him drive me across the park to the porta-potty because there was no way I was walking 500 yards.  I entered the porta-potty and instantly RAN back out of it.  Why, you ask?  Well, some thoughtful and courteous individual laid a big FAT turd in the urinal.  I'm assuming you dudes know how some porta-potties have little urinals mounted to the wall.  And if you are aware then I'm sure you know how  DANGEROUSLY close the urinal is to where your face would be if you were hovering over the toilet seat?  YEAH, REALLY CLOSE!  The image is burned into my retinas.  BURNED.

How did you get in the position to accomplish this feat, urinal pooper?  Did you plan it out ahead of time and bring a freakin STEP LADDER?  Is there a master plan detailing your nasty deed written down somewhere on actual paper?  Or did you use a spreadsheet?  Did you have to take your pants completely OFF and lay them on the disgusting floor of the porta-potty in order to pull this off?  Like you would care about doing something disgusting anyway, right?  I'm sure the last step on your master porta-pooping plan was "buy new pants", because you have all the bases covered, don't you urinal pooper.

What is happening here?  Nothing poop related has been placed before me today but I am expecting it at this point. I am ready people. 

The name of this polish perfectly sums up my day yesterday.  This is 2 coats over black.  This is an amazing jelly micro-glitter.  I picked this polish up and put it down on three different trips to K-mart before I finally made a special trip back and bought both bottles, Because that's how I roll.