My first OPIs

I posted a few days ago about the floodgates being opened on lots of new brands for me. Since OPI was one of them I thought it would be fun to post the ones I picked out from the hundreds available to add to my stash as my "first OPIs".

After sifting through thousands of swatches these are the ones I got in my first official OPI order. I probably should have divided this into a few posts but what the hell! Let the shiny new OPI spamage begin!

After swatching all these I can say 2 things without a doubt. One is that I am an official OPI convert, and second, OPI is the most all over the place, hit or miss formula out of any other polish brand I have tried. Some are 4 coats some are 2, some streak some are smooth. It's like playing the lottery. Overall I am really happy with the polishes I chose to break myself in to the brand.

What do you all think of the first OPIs I picked?

Love, MM

Orly Plastix Collection

I am so super majorly pissed off at Orly after the crap they pulled with the Cosmic FX collection that it is hard for me to ignore my grudge and honestly post about their polishes. This is the main reason I waited so long to post the Sweet collection and now the Plastix collection. I'll get into all that when I review the Cosmic FX collection though, I'm just waiting for a sunny day to photograph them. 

As for the Plastix collection, it's a group of 4 polishes that are designed to dry to a "plastic finish". Honestly they are just mattes that don't dry as matte as normal mattes. The colors are just ok. Orly launched this collection with a LOT of hype with not much follow through. Two of the colors are ok but adding a layer of glossy topcoat reveals they are both dupable with other easy to find polishes. The other 2 colors in the collection are just down right ugly, and yes, they are easily dupable as well. 

The point of this collection totally escapes me. With all the matte top coats readily available these days, making a collection of matte cremes in basic colors makes no sense to me.  There is nothing unique about the colors in the plastix collection whatsoever. A couple seconds with a few common cremes and a matte topcoat can recreate these colors with equal if not better results.

 This is 3 coats. For a similar look try one coat of China Glaze Grape Pop plus a matte top coat.

 Here it is with a glossy topcoat.

This one didn't dry very matte at all. Also a 3 coater. (these are ALL 3 coaters) This color is just awful, I really cant see it looking flattering on anyone.

Here it is glossy. 

This polish was the worst of the bunch. It has a horrible orange cast in person that gives your hands a very grimy dirty look. 

As you can see this polish isn't red at all. Any dark pink polish plus a matte topcoat will be a good dupe for this polish.

American Apparel Peacock plus a matte topcoat is a great alternative to this one.

And now for a photo of it with a glossy topcoat. 

These polishes were really hard to work with.  They were thick and very streaky but still had a really bad tendency to drip all over the place during application. They all needed 3 coats either to get full coverage or to smooth out the streakiness.

Love, MM

Orly sweet

Way behind posting these. I only got three of the 6 because I had dupes for 2 and the other just didn't appeal to me. I'm going to make this short and sweet since I'm still recovering from this weekend. 

 Three coats.

2 Coats

2 coats.

These are a little thick but not too hard to apply. Overall they were pretty good.

Love, MM

Bloggin' From the Beach.

It's story time ladies, and the polish I'm posting today could not be more fitting. You shall see what I mean in a jiffy.  I have a glorious tale to tell you, it's filled with tidbits all over the emotional map. I'm talkin' pregnancy voodoo hexing infants, boob relief, and weekend beachfront getaways people.

Yesterday my fiance Eric, you know that one guy? The sole supporter of my polish habit and the single source of income that allows my blog to be possible? Him. He surprised me by taking today off and whisking me away to a beach front hotel for the weekend. He did give me a choice of course, because he is a keeper, if I wanted a romantic mini vacation weekend or if I wanted to blow the cash on shopping. I chose the mini vacay. Somebody check my temperature. Bad jokes aside it really was an easy choice since the collections this fall/holiday have honestly been less than lemm worthy. 

Our hotel is directly on the beachfront with nothing between my balcony and the breaking waves except the hotels parking lot.  Amazing.  I personally have never lived further than 4 hours from a beach in my life but never have I enjoyed one from a hotel bed while lounging out, or from a hotel balcony.

While we were packing up I decided at the last minute to unpack my "boob shirt" I was saving for the beach tomorrow but opted to wear it today.  Before I can go any further I need to explain a little known fact about me.  I have this powerfully dominant feminist side to my personality that does not allow me to partake in the whole women on women appearance challenge face off crap that happens pretty much anytime women come in contact with each other. I just can't do it. So, I always, SERIOUSLY ALWAYS dress incredibly modestly when I know I will be in the company of a fellow female. It knocks that competition shit out, right in its tracks. Going clubbing with girlfriends is one thing and a totally different story but meeting up with married/engaged/committed women or women I don't know too well is always a "no boob situation". It is just the way I feel that women should conduct themselves out of respect for other ladies. I mean I don't like it when women do that crap to me, so I don't do it to them. It's not a confidence thing by any means. I feel like it's a respect thing.  If a woman walks into my home with her cans popping out I would not feel threatened by her appearance, but I would feel disrespected by her need to physically compete with me. So, you can be sure you won't ever catch me walking my scantly clad boobie poppin self into another womans home, ever. 

Now that another weird little tidbit about me has been exposed I can continue by exclaiming how DISTRESSED I was when My fiance got a call from a friend asking us to drop by his house on our way to the hotel. This "friend" has a pregnant wife and a 6 month old baby. And HERE I AM already in the car with no way to change clothes with my ta tas literally EXPLODING from my "shirt". To tell you the truth this particular "shirt" is so skanky I don't think I have ever worn it out, and forget wearing it in the presence of others...but this situation wasn't just "others" it was PREGNANT WOMAN WITH INFANT, IN HER HOME, WHOM I HAVE NEVER MET. On top of my hoochie-fied shirt I had another little cherry on top in the form of a necklace with a pendant that hangs right in between lefty and her wing man. Scratch that, it doesn't "hang" it is STUCK there. AWESOME. 

I honestly tried everything I could to un-hookerize myself as we approached their house but it was no use. Once we arrived I timidly walked up the drive following my fiance feeling incredibly guilty and LAME until the front door opened and the most gorgeous half naked woman stood before us. Her shorts could have passed for panties and her bra-less boobs were about 85% exposed in her A-line scoop neck spaghetti strap top. I have never felt such overwhelming boob relief in my entire life people. It rushed through me like ice cold coca-cola up a Mcdonalds straw. It was like seeing the angel of feminism waving a "OK to boob it" flag.

Despite the boob panic and ocean view hotel, oddly the most noteworthy part of my day was the "gorgeous woman's" child. I'm calling her "gorgeous woman" because in my panic over boob disrespect I missed her name. This... infant? Toddler? I don't know the proper term for a 6 month old, locked eyes with me as I walked in the door. He was the equivalent of a leprechaun's cuff links in terms of rarity. I'm talking a CUTE baby people, as a purposefully childless adult it's pretty damn hard for a baby to be THAT cute to me. We are talkin' a baby capable of turning life commitment non-breeders to the dark side with a single spit burp bubble.

This baby fixated on me and stared directly at me for the entire length of my stay. From his bouncy walkey thingy he was in, he stared me DOWN. Each and every time I looked over at him he was focused on me... grinning. Gorgeous Woman said, "he takes people in" after she noticed how much he was concentrating on me. After about 10 solid minutes I got a little freaked out. I mean this is a baby that can barely control it's neck muscles yet it's got the attention span to STARE ME DOWN? So I was like "oh it must be my dangley beaded earrings" and shook them a little with absolutely no response from the baby. He remained locked in a Steven Segal pre-fight sequence eye contact battle with me .Everyone in the room noticed.  Through a few trips outside with his mother and I this child literally did not loose his focus on starring at me ONCE. It was hands down one of the weirdest experiences of my life. 

Now that I am out of king cute baby's eyeball death grip, I can safely say I feel OVERLY FERTILE. This cute little baby put a Haitian fertility voodoo hex on me people. I am certain of it. My whole body feels like it's put together in a different and strange new way. I have been officially baby stricken. Short of showing up in my bedroom at 11:30 on a friday night this baby could NOT HAVE PICKED A WORSE TIME to cast a spell on my ovaries. I mean come on! A romantic weekend beachfront getaway? And now I have a fresh freakin' pregnancy curse upon my head? Sweet. 

Reality check. Here is the view from where I am sitting at this very moment-

This is from the 3rd floor, but tomorrow we are switching rooms to the first floor and sacrificing our view because well... THERE IS A JACUZZI IN THE SUITE!!!  And what is on my nails today you ask? 

Mac Beyond Jealous. Voodoo hex aside, you know you totally are. This polish is a heart stopping, nearly black, army green creme. It covers in one coat but I would not recommend leaving it at one because when I did it was chip city. At 2 coats it has good staying power, and sheesh it dries LIGHTING fast!

I found an outlet store in my town a few weeks ago that gets unsold MAC over stock, so I was able to pick up a few colors for $8.50 instead of the ridiculous $13 a pop. Yeah, $8.50 is still not cheap but remember folks...knowledge is power, unless what? UNLESS THERE IS A SALE. 

Love, The respectfully boobalicous MM

OPI Swiss... Kinda

It's kinda lying to call this post "OPI Swiss" since I only got 4 of the 12 colors in the collection but in my defense I have this new rule. I am trying my very hardest to stick to it but it's nearly impossible. My new rule is this- ONLY BUY THE COLORS YOU LIKE, YOU FREAKY OBSESSED POLISH HOARDER!

Normally if a collection has more than 3 colors I like I just buy the whole thing so I can review it on my blog but I have found that this leaves me wishing I had spent my money on other things and regretting buying butt loads of fugly polish just for my blog.

So meet the new me! I only buy shit I actually like. Pretty sweet 'eh? So, unless I hit the lottery go ahead and get used to me posting partial collections. But that is a sort of dumb thing to say because if I won the lottery ya'll would never hear from my ass again! Well that might not be entirely true, I would probably post one last thing like, "See ya, ya'll broke ass fools! MM OUT!"

Let's get this hypocrite train a'rollin'. I used to hate OPI, like REALLY loathe it with every fiber of my body. But then OPI Swiss came out and this little number showed up-

Feast your eyes on the single OPI polish that broke down my walls of hatred and took me into the gentle embrace of hypocrisy. After buying this one OPI the floodgates opened and I began to collect them just like any of the other brands I love. It was about a week later that I realized that this polish is an exact dupe to Rescue Beauty Lounge Teal. I am trying not to be bitter though. 

This is a gorgeous dark maroon with a slight purple cast. It definitely applied well and was a solid 2 coater. This color is very pretty but it does have a tendency to look black in most lighting.

Lightened red that leans toward dark pink. I honestly bought this one just for the name. A certain South Park episode inspired me. This one is also a two coater. Impressive...

Slammin' brick red. This really looks nothing like chocolate. I'm assuming they just named the polish that because they were desperate to put the name "suzi" onto yet another bottle, lame. It has just enough brown in it to be a brick color but it's nowhere near a true brown.

 Overall I am really impressed with these formula wise. They were all 2 coaters and applied nice and smooth. Touche OPI. 

Love, MM

Attention Florida Residents!

BRIAN REGAN LIVE AT THE FLORIDA THEATER OCTOBER 1ST!!!

Brian Regan is my favorite stand up comedian ever. FAVORITE. EVER. I'm totally going! So for those of you that are also going, look for me!!! I'll be the one huddled in the corner popping xanax with the slammin' nails and amish hair.  No doubt you will be too star struck to come and talk to me but hopefully you can get over it and help me out of the corner and escort me to a bar of some sort to help calm my nerves. I have a "thing" with crowds. I am counting on you to freakin' save me and drag me to my seat because I will be there all by my little self. Look, I was totally kidding about the star struck thing ok, please don't be mad because I seriously will need help finding my seat during the heart stopping panic attack I am sure to be in the middle of when you see me.

Last year my best friend and I were planning on going to see Brian Regan together but I am an asshole and I totally flaked out on her at the last minute because I do NOT do well in crowded situations. But this year is different. This year I have xanax.

So, because I flaked out on her last year my BFF has refused to accompany me to the "concert" this year. Understandably so. But I have a feeling she will be even MORE pissed at me if I go without her than if I flaked on her again. So this is me BEGGING my BFF to go to Brian Regan Live with me PUBLICLY ON MY LAME LITTLE BLOG.

If this method works and she does agree to go with me then you can look for us both! We both have super long hair to our butts but mine looks amish while hers looks all Pantene Pro V commercialy. We will probably be dressed in black but I will look like a deranged misguided teenager and she will look graceful and victorian. We will also probably both be plastered in bright colored eye shadows, I will look like I just left a face painting booth and she will look like she just left a vogue magazine photo shoot. If none of these tips help you to spot us then try this one- I will be the fat stupid one crouched down and walking like a terrified crab following closely behind a blindingly gorgeous amazonian super model. You can't miss us!  (my best friend is gorgeous so she wont be hard to spot and I'm not just saying that so she will go with me, also all of those compliments were sincere)

Anyhoo, since this post is totally off topic and all over the place I guess I'll duel purpose this post and use it to unload all my random photos that don't have matches or any other logical place to be posted.

My first BB Couture. Gorgeous 3 coater.

This one is actually really close to Rescue Beauty Lounge Recycle even though it doesn't look quite like it in the pics. 2 coats.

2 coats.

Blackened red awesomeness! 

Amazing quality for a $2 polish! This is 2 coats.

My first Jessica polish! I'm impressed by the brand but they are a little pricey for me.

Amazing holo! This was 4 coats

Love, MM

Rampage

My BFF sent me a little present this weekend. 

I opened up the bubble mailer and I was like, "OH YEAH! GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!"

The gorgeous Illamasqua Rampage is finally MINE!

I have wanted this polish for so long! It's pictured at 3 coats. Totally worth it.


Thanks dude. 


Love, MM

Essie Fall 2010

This has got to be one of the best Essie collections ever. I love every color except one, which is pretty rare for an Essie collection. Out of the 6 colors released I purchased 5 of them, and I am very glad that I did! I skipped "little brown dress" from this collection because frankly it just looks "meh" to me and I am positive I will never ever wear it. 

For some reason the Essie promo pictures as well as the pictures on the e-tailers websites of this collection are extremely inaccurate.  I was a little shocked at how different the colors were compared to the promo pictures when I received them, but at least it was a pleasant surprise.

A lovely soft mauvish pink. Very nice.

Muted grey with a hint of purple. 

Smokey fern green with subtle shimmer. Dupe alert for Rescue beauty lounge Diddy Mow. I personally think the shimmer is a little less subtle in Sew Psyched than it is in Diddy Mow, but I haven't compared them side by side yet.

WHAM! A Bad ass red that blows my MIND. This is by FAR my favorite from this collection and also my favorite red to come along in ages! 

Deep purple with very strong red undertones.

The formula on these was fabulous. They are all 2 coaters with the exception of "limited addiction" which needs 3 to be totally opaque, although I pictured it at 2 coats. They all went on very smooth and weren't runny or drippy. Dry time was also decent for Essie.

Love, MM