Sunday, February 28, 2010

GOD I hate Mario Lopez!

I don't hate a lot of things but Mario Lopez is at the TIPPY TOP of my very short list.  WHY does he host like 50 shows? WHY? I half expect him to show up in my bathroom and start hosting my bubble bath with his retarded VOICE and his stupid childlike FACE.  If I am flipping channels and land on a show including Mario Lopez wielding a microphone I will nearly BREAK MY ARM trying to change the channel fast enough that I won't have to hear him speak.
This is 2 coats artificial lighting, love it!

I mean, Mario Lopez is the mexican version of Bob Saget.  NOT the "I'm a coke addict, pimp, recording artist" version of Bob Saget. I'm talking the Full house, Americas Funniest Home Videos featuring the worst host in the history of tellevision, Bob Saget. 

Mario Lopez's face is like a 150 foot long,  neon flag waving FRANTICALLY with the words "CHANGE THE CHANEL" printed on it. Hell, the flag even has an option to push a button and it will smash you over the head with a crow bar and knock you the fuck OUT,  in the instance you have lost your remote.
3 coats.

Seriously, Mario Lopez needs to just go on tour or something.  Then he can go around being not funny in EMPTY comedy clubs and I can watch T.V. in peace.  He will get stabbed at his VERY first gig anyway, either by me or someone similar, so it's a GREAT PLAN.  
2 coats.

Mario Lopez brings out an animalistic violence in me I had never realized existed.  I really hope I never run into him at Goodwill while I'm scouting nail polish and he is stealing anecdotes off those little precious moments figurines to use in his act, because I will KILL him. Bare handed, grisly style, straight up, 1st degree.  MURDER.


Yeah...I am currently deathly I'll and blocked into the corner of my bed by a mountian of used tissues, I'm miserable and trapped here until somebody brings me some dayquil and a freakin sprite.  So yeah, I'm pissy and that is why you got to read about how hard Mario Lopez sucks ass today.

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25 comments:

  1. razberiswrlFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Word.

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  2. UnknownFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:15 AM

    Aww, you poor thing... =D

    *puts away all knifes... whehehe....

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  3. UnknownFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:32 AM

    Thank you for the rant! It was awesome as usual =P
    Sending you a HUGE HUG!!!!!!! Hope it makes you feel a lil better.

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  4. RebeccaFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    Wow, you really HATE Mario Lopez. Haha. After reading this I am happy I don't know who he is!

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  5. SkuldaFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    Luckily I don't see that guyt very much. I'm like that with Vince from Slap Chop, and Shamwow.

    UGGHHHH...
    I <3 Bermuda Breakaway!
    I hope you feel better soon. I had a day like that yesterday, I almost burried myself in used tissue. >.< Maybe have a warm bath with some salts?

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  6. AnonymousFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:48 AM

    Feel better. God, even dying of a plague, you're hilarious.
    Gorgeous polish. I'm lemming the Bahamian Blues collex even harder now :(

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  7. RebekahFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:57 AM

    He ruins Americas best dance crew for me... glad it isnt just me!!

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  8. LFebruary 28, 2010 at 11:53 AM

    LMAO! Yay! Someone else hates "slater"! I hope you feel better soon!

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  9. Jessica D.February 28, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    hahaha, i just love coming to this blog, never knowing what i'll be reading! you seriously crack me up! but yeah, i hate him hosting abdc, because he's so cheesy! he always makes puns with the crews' names, and it drives me crazy. but down to business, your swatch of grape pop makes me so glad I snapped it up when i had the chance!

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  10. NicoleFebruary 28, 2010 at 12:54 PM

    Oh geez, LMFAO. You poor thing. At least you have something to direct your rage at. I hope you feel better soon!
    These polishes look HOT on you. I want you to know that you are the reason I caved on Grape Pop, I wasn't even going to get it, but after seeing your twitpic, I totally had to have it.

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  11. PaigeFebruary 28, 2010 at 2:09 PM

    I hope you feel better soon!

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  12. WizardsOfBlingFebruary 28, 2010 at 2:41 PM

    PPSsssstttt, hey, if your up for some moyder will ya do a super duper two fer? And Get Tom Cruise too? I am so sick of his lying, stuck in the closet face! He's been pissing me off for 25 years and I've about had it! Sorry your sick! I hope you didn't get it from me! :) Love the swatches.
    ~Sylvia

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  13. UnknownFebruary 28, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    LoL @ the rant, as per usual. I'm sorry about your current state of sickness though. Really hope you get better soon.

    (And I'll have to say, love the swatches. Immediate lemming for VII and Bermuda Breakaway... o.O)

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  14. ~*~ Dollface ~*~February 28, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    OMG I love you for saying that you hate him! I LOATHE HIM!! It's nice to see I'm not alone. Even hearing his name makes me shudder

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  15. karenFebruary 28, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    dude I had to delurk with a holy shit are you ever funny comment.

    so yeah.. :)

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  16. RheaFebruary 28, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Who's Mario Lopez? Actually, forget it, I don't think I want to know, after reading all that, LOL!
    Anyways, gorgeous colors :)

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  17. UnknownFebruary 28, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    funniest blog ever. love your swatches! hope you feel better!

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  18. The Asian GirlFebruary 28, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    LMAO...I love your comparison of Mario Lopez to Bob Saget. I almost prefer AC Slater/Latino Mullet to Mario Lopez...but I simply cannot tolerate jheri curl.

    *two thumbs and two big toes up*

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  19. UnknownFebruary 28, 2010 at 10:42 PM

    So I'm really sorry you're sick and all, but man that has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time. :) OK, since maybe your last post, but you know what I mean! I even read it out loud to my husband, who doesn't get my obsession with either nail polish or blogs at ALL, and even HE was laughing. And it's really hard to get him to laugh, so congrats on that. :D

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  20. AmyMarch 1, 2010 at 2:37 AM

    LMFAO I am seriously in <3 with you MM. Watch out for Avon catalogs that douche is in those too! Hope you feel better!

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  21. AlyMarch 1, 2010 at 2:48 AM

    We don't have Mario Lopez here but our TV shows suck all the same!
    Hope you feel better soon!!
    BTW I am so happy I bought Grape Pop (still have to try it on) looks great (maybe your beautiful nails enhance it) and will add Bermuda B. to my lemming list!

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  22. jbrobeckMarch 1, 2010 at 5:24 AM

    lmao.... i esp hated "pet star" just shows he is a cheap whore!

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  23. You nailed it!March 1, 2010 at 7:05 AM

    hahahah i love how you posted the i hate mario lopez things, then a polish, and then just went on about mario lopez! so great
    I like mario lopez, but i only see him on america's best dance crew because i dont live in america, i live in the netherlands, (also called holland)

    i'm a follower!
    x

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  24. JakeeMarch 1, 2010 at 4:41 PM

    Thank God!!! I can't stand him either. I want to reach through the TV and punch him. I'll gladly gang up with you to plot some evil scheme to take him down. =)

    Feel better!

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  25. ArrianneMarch 20, 2010 at 12:34 AM

    I'm not too fond of him or his lame jokes on ABDC. I don't like his facken ballet doin' ass! Though my sister is the one who can share with you the seething hatred you have for him.

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